CONVERSATION BETWEEN COL. SAMBO DASUKI AND DAME PATIENCE JONATHAN
Dasuki: Grin Grin Grin (phone rings)
Patient Jonathan: Hello, nah who be dat?
Dasuki: Your Excellency sir, good morning.
Patient Jonathan: No be oga dey talk, na me Mama Peace dey talk.
Dasuki: Sorry ma, good morning ma. Na Dasuki dey call ma.
Patient Jonathan: ehn, Morring. Wetin you want?
Dasuki: Dem don arrest me.
Patient Jonathan: Wetin you do?
Dasuki: Dem say I steal $2.1B money meant for ammunition for our soldiers.
Patient Jonathan: Na true?
Dasuki: em em em, I am...
Patient Jonathan: kip kwayeti, na only you waka come?
Dasuki: No be only me o. Dokpesi dey o.
Patient Jonathan: Shey dat AIT man? Wetin him do again?
Dasuki: Him sef get N2.1B from the money.
Patient Jonathan: God catch am!
Dasuki: Bafarawa sef dey here o
Patient Jonathan: Ah ha, Batagata gini? who be dat? wetin him do?
Dasuki: Na our Chief Imam o. Na him collect N4.2B to take organise all the imams for nijiria wey pray for oga for second term o.
Patient Jonathan: Shey we win? No be fake prayer dem do?
Dasuki: I no know ma.
Patient Jonathan: Issorait. shey na all of una dem don carry?
Dasuki: No o, na only three of us.
Patient Jonathan: Three of una, Oritsejafor nko?
Dasuki: Dem never arrest am.
Patient Jonathan: Wat of my father-in-law, Edwin Clarke?
Dasuki: Dem never catch am ma.
Patient Jonathan: Orubebe nko?
Dasuki: E no dey with us but him dey face different trial.
Patient Jonathan: uhm, uhm dis man nko? Okpepe abi wetin dem call am?
Dasuki: Okupe ma. him never join us.
Patient Jonathan: E good like dat. Na so una deceive my husband. God don catch una. My husband no dey o. No call this number again o. (Gbam, phone drop).
Patient Jonathan: (Sitting and thinking), eewo! eewo!!! eewo!!! dis people don kill Nijiria o. Ah, Dia ris God o. Dia ris God o.
Na somebody dream I share oooooo!
- Sunday Akoji
